Dad tapped me…

I was awakened by a dream. It was crystal clear. I felt no fear. My dad was talking to me.

“I’m sorry I was not able to finish the roof, your cats might fall”, as he looked down frowning. I told him “It’s alright Tay, everythings fine”. It was like the usual talk we were having. He was instructing me what to do in the kitchen. I was cleaning it all up and looks like I was preparing the food he cooked.

I noticed that he was trying to clean his left hand for it was stained with dirt. He asked me to give him the zonrox (bleach) across the table but he ended up tooking it anyway. “Let me get it, he said, you might hurt your hand”. Then he poured it on his hand, and some residue of the bleach dissolved a banana on the table. “I told you, your hands are weaker than mine,” he said.

I forgot all the things he said. But I see myself avoiding not to cry. I told him “I miss him”. We went to the living room and he was talking to my brother. Then I put our meal on the floor and table then I woke up.

I don’t know what it meant but I thank God for letting me see Him. I was not able to hug him on my dream. Just like the last days he had on earth. It seems to be a reminder that I need to express my love to my family before its too late.

Thank you Tatay for taking good care of us. Thank you for letting your hands get into the dirt to sustain our needs. Thanks for expressing your love to us by fixing the house, cooking and everything. 

I just wish I can see you when that blessed morning comes and hug you tight.

Thank you for everything!


Away from pretension and facade…

So I decided to deactivate my facebook account for about two weeks from now and I got a lot of different perception on the matter within a certain period of time. I was not expecting that few would make it a big deal while others try to have their own hypothesis based on their theories and own dillemas. Funny how others can definitely look at an act negatively portraying that they were great warriors of the universe. 

I wonder how others try to act like they know your pain. I wonder how others try to put you down with their own speculations while telling themselves to get rid of negative people.  Whilst they were the most pessimist on not being considerate on others. 

I strongly believe that we have our own battles to fight. 

I think, pain cannot be measured with a single tragedy nor with frequent catastrophes.

 However simple it is, it is pain. It might be simple for you but not for others. A prick of a needle might mean phobia to others. 

What am I trying to say?

Instead of pinpointing other’s weaknesses, why can’t we think of an act of simple kindness to give hope to those whom we know are frailty? Why can’t we look at each others eyes and see how magnificent a person can be if only someone would genuinely listen or give him time? Why can’t we let others vent out through painful poems, songs, arts and masterpiece if these are the only way they can cope up? Why can’t we for once be of service to others by just understanding them? Why?

Is it really hard to be kind in your own way? Is it really hard to understand that someone is struggling and needed space? Yes, space. Alone time. Reflection. 

Because sometimes you don’t need judgemental living creatures to pin point your flaws and errs. 

You don’t need to be dictated. 

You need the silence of nature. Sometimes you need the sound of the waves as if it can drown your sorrows. Sometimes you just need to breathe the air outside. You need to stand alone while you try to live life.

Of course, it will not take forever. It is limited and is given a span of time. It will not forever be silent. Once the mind is at peace, the heart will follow and the whole being will be healed.

So please, would you mind listening not to respond but to understand? Would you mind to take a pat on someones shoulder if you feel he struggle? Would you mind smiling at the strangers? Would you mind giving hope? Would you stop pretending you are great and has surpassed life’s greatest battle? 

Would you?

Because if you’re itching to know why I deactivated my account, I don’t have the responsibility to explain it to you in detail. 😂